I Would Be Lying....

I would be lying if I said that this wait is ok because I know God has this...I mean I know he does, and I trust him with every bit of my being, but my earthly body is impatient. It has been almost seven months since we sent our first dossier packet to Yana's country and we still have no date. Our homestudy agency license expired in February. It took a month to get the updated homestudy agency license. We had it overnighted and then the very same day we got it, we had it apostilled and fedexed to her country. That was the 18th of March.

It gets to a point sometimes where you go through almost a grieving process. I find myself sad, crying, angry, then happy and excited. Then the days pass and I go through it all over again. Never mind the worry of the 10k we still need to be fully funded. If I didn't have God, my family and my fellow adoptive friends/supporters I wouldn't know what to do. She may be in a different country and I may have not even met her yet, but I don't love her any less. This little girl has found her way into my heart. She is such a part of me. I feel like my daughter is, like I said before, in the bottom of a well yelling for me and I can't reach her. I am trying so hard to reach her hand grasping out at me...but I just.can't.get.to.her.

There is a children's book called, I Promise I'll Find You by Heather Patricia Ward. In this book a mother's child has been lost and she goes through different ways/things she will do to find her child. I love this book and it explains in a simple way what lengths a person would go to find thier lost child. I know it has been long, but I won't give up. Yana, I promise I'll find you.... I will never give up no matter how long it takes. Baby girl, I love you!!