Pages

Our Family

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I Want To Believe They Loved Her


It was three years ago. A very cold day. Not much different then today. The days in January are very cold. Sometimes it's so cold that it feels like the air is freezing as it comes out of your mouth. There is snow everywhere. The blanket of snow looks as if it so pure. It is truly beautiful.

Elizaveta and Matvey were excited. Although it was so cold and the economy was tough, they were waiting on the birth of thier child. Having another child was a happy moment for them. It was hard making it sometimes, but the love they had for thier children far outweighed that. If anything, the constant fight made them stronger as a family.

"What do you think she will look like?" Elizaveta asked.


"She will be beautiful Veta. She will be strong and graceful. Full of vigor like her mother." Stated Matvey.


Elizaveta hugged her husband. She knew that this little girl was going to be a fighter. She knew this little girl was going to be a beautiful angel. Elizaveta so loved her family. This child was going to be no different. Having another child was something they had wanted to do for awhile. This baby was a gift. They were already proud of her. Elizaveta hugged Matvey even tighter.

It was in the middle of the night. Elizaveta woke up. She knew it was time. The baby was coming.

"Matvey, Matvey, wake up. She's coming." cried Elizaveta.

Matvey didn't even take a second to think. He jumped up out of bed. He woke up his mother and told her they were leaving, so she could watch the kids. The children were in bed. Matvey didn't wake them. Afterall, they needed thier sleep to help with the baby. They would want to be with her the next day. They needed thier rest. Matvey and Elizaveta walked out the door and found a cab.

"To the hospital." Matvey called out to the cab driver. "My wife is having our baby."


It was several hours into the labor and Elizaveta was tired.

"Matvey. Have I told you lately how much I love you?"


"Yes you have Veta. I know you do, and our baby...she will know how much we both love her."

By the next morning Yana was born. As Elizaveta and Matvey held thier daughter tears rolled down thier faces. She was so beautiful. Her eyes were so blue. She had this thick layer of brown hair on top of her head. There was something different about her. Her eyes were almond shaped and her toes, they had this gap between them. Matvey thought that Yana must have taken after his father that he never knew. This was common, especially in this time. You were lucky to even have one parent. As the day went on the weather became to harsh. The children would have to wait until the next day to see thier sister. It was getting late. Elizaveta was tired. She closed her eyes and went to sleep. Matvey was in the chair next to her asleep, holding baby Yana.

The next morning the doctor came into the room.


" I have some serious news for you. Your daughter has Down syndrome. We have made arrangements for you to place her into custody of the local baby house. You know that children like THIS do not have a place in society here."

With that, he closed the door behind him.

"What did he just say Matvey?" Elizaveta asked as tears were rolling down her face.

"She's not ours anymore Veta. She belongs to them." cried Matvey. "We will not be able to take her home. Veta, you know we have no choice."

Within moments the nurse came into the room. They signed some type of documents and she was now to live in the orphanage. They were letting her go. Never to see her again. Elizaveta's heart was broke, but she knew it had to be this way. That is what they all said. It just didn't seem right to her. Her daughter, her beautiful Yana, was never to be held by her again. How could she go see her there and leave her behind? She couldn't. This would be the last time she saw her. It had to be that way.

Matvey was already outside of the hospital. He couldn't look at the baby. It was to tough. There was nothing he could do he believed. It was better to not see her or touch her again. Elizaveta stayed behind to see Yana one more time. She gently leaned over her crib. Touched her smooth, warm skin. She looked at her as a tear fell onto Yana's chest.

"I love you baby Yana." Elizaveta cried with a choking sound. "You will always be here in my heart. I will always love you."

Elizaveta walked out the door of the hospital holding onto her heart. She was leaving her daughter behind. She knew the pain she was feeling would never go away. Elizaveta would never hold her again. To her this was the end. She knew she would never see Yana again....

She turned around and looked at the door of the hospital, then she quickly walked to Matvey. Her life, thier life, would never be the same.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Why It Is So Important


Why is it so important?

I really wish I could put it into words so you could understand.

I am not as talented of a writer as some of my friends. Wish I was. I think there was a time in school where I could write stories and poems, but that was before college ate my brain. Seriously, all those notes and studying melted it, and NO it didn't involve any illegal subtance. All those hours of studying did me in.

I am a talker. Everyone that knows me probably wishes I wasn't sometimes. All you have to do is ask me about my children and the floodgates open. I am sure it gets old sometimes, but that is what I am most proud of, my babies. I will fight to my dying breath for them. Yes, sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out, but I would die inside without them. I know this because when Carmen died, a part of my heart died, and it will never come back. It is with her.

A few months ago we committed to Yana. I saw her picture and that was enough. We had no idea where she was. She could be in California for all I know, but she wasn't, she happens to be in a VERY COLD part of the world. The weather there is currently in the -30'sF. It is a very long flight away. This little girl who has stolen my heart and is destined to be part of our family is so far away. In miles maybe, but never far from my mind or my heart.

It has not been easy since we started this journey. The region she is from only allows for 35 referrals per year per agency. Most of the agencies are very busy with typical adoptions so they fill up quickly. We struggled to even find an agency. There is only one that can help us. There is only one.... That is fine for one little girl, for one family, for our adoption of our Yana. It is not fine for the 100's of other children with special needs that cannot be listed with Reece's Rainbow until we at least visit our girl or she comes home. It isn't anyones fault. The agency just has to see that our adoption is successful and the region will work with us before the agency will agree to assist with the other adoptions. WOW I really feel heavy in my heart and my shoulders feel so weighted down. I feel like we as a family are carrying the weight of so many lives on our shoulders. I do not feel burdened, I feel compelled...compelled to act.

I am not going to lie to you...

I am being selfish for my family.

I want this little girl more then anything. I want Yana to be part of our family. When I beg for your prayers and donations it is for me and my family. It is for Yana to be with us. It is for Yana to be our child. It is for Yana to be a sibling to my children. I don't only want to save her life, but I want her to be a part of ours. I will admit it. This little girl is on my mind all the time, just like the rest of my children, right where she should be.

There has been some times when people have suggested to me that we choose another child because of the difficulty it has been finding our way to her. I have thought about it, but my heart always brings me back. I cannot let that happen. This wasn't meant to be easy. There is a reason for it. There is a reason her face surrounds me. Not just for her to be a part of our family, I feel like God is leading us to many more children that need us.

If you haven't noticed, the children in Yana's region are no longer listed on Reece's Rainbow. It breaks my heart, but for the reason mentioned above, it had to happen. There is no reason for you to fall in love with a child if you have no chance in getting to them. The thing is though, they still exist. They still are there in the orphanages and institutions. They still wait. They still cry. They still wonder. If they wait long enough, they just exist. They shut off hope. WE cannot let this happen.

Please help us pray for our adoption of Yana. Please help us raise the funds for her adoption. Please help us pray for her safety and the success of her becoming a part of our family. Not only does her life depend on it, so does the many faces I see everytime I check the database.

http://reecesrainbow.org/yana-for-the-smith-family-zanesville-oh

God bless you all!!
 


  © Web Design by Poppies Blooming 2010

Back to TOP