Dear President Putin,
I am not sure if you will ever read this, or it will even reach you, but I felt the need to place my words in a place you may see it.
My name is Lisa. I am a mother to seven children. Two of those seven children are from Russia. If you feel the need to review any information about me or my family, it is readily available to you in our post placement reports. They were sent as required in December. My two beautiful daughters have Down syndrome. Isabella Daria is four and Phoebe Anastasia is three years old. They have been home with us for over a year now.
My husband and I visited Krasnoyarsk, Russia in September of 2011 for our first visits with our daughters. It was a long road to get there, full of paperwork and heartbreak. We dotted every I and crossed every T as requested and required by your country. Although this paperwork was daunting, we were willing to do what we had to do for the honor of visiting your country and the chance at being parents to your children. We didn't expect a yes, we just prayed for it. What was even harder was trying to explain why we wanted to adopt two girls with Down syndrome. Once again, we did it because we were respecting your laws and wanted to show people that children with Down syndrome are worth the fight.
When we arrived for the first time in September of 2011 I fully expected not to like your country. In fact I envisioned myself hating it. After all I grew up in the 80's where it wasn't uncommon for American's to not exactly get along with Russians. When I got to your country, I felt the exact opposite. I felt love. I felt admiration. I felt respect. Your country is beautiful. The country side is gorgeous. The architecture is phenomenal. The people I dealt with were kind and more then helpful. I admit visiting governmental agencies were quite frightening, because I didn't know what to expect. It was fine. It helps when respect is given. Our second trip for court was long. We spent several days in Moscow and a long period in Krasnoyarsk getting all the required documents together. When going to court I was afraid, but I was honest and I believe the judge saw that. I was myself and poured my heart out to her. My husband and I were deeply in love with your children. The first visit was amazing. We wanted nothing more then to be Isabella and Phoebe's parents. Thankfully, the judge gave us custody of our girls. We couldn't have been more thankful. During the mandatory 10 day wait (at that time) I was fortunate enough to be able to visit the girls, see many sights, visit a local ski slope and even see a Russian play. I also visited a church of my faith. When in Moscow we visited Red Square. Never thought I would want to come back some day, but I do. I would love for the girls to see where they came from and for Phoebe's mother to be able to see her again. I know she loved her and I am thankful for that.
I guess the whole point of this letter is to explain to you how I feel about the adoption ban. Not sure if it will matter, but in honor of my daughters and the friends they left behind, I felt led to. I cannot even begin to understand how one side over the other feels. I understand your point and I understand mine, but I wish you could understand that not all Americans are bad just as not all Russians are bad. I feel horrified about the nineteen children that have died after being adopted here. It makes me so sad, but it is truly not fair to judge all of us adoptive parents or American's in general because of those nineteen families. Just as it is not fair for me to judge you or your country for things that have happened in the past there. Do I agree with the way children with special needs are treated there at times? No. Do you agree with everything we as a country do? I am sure you don't. Does it make me sick to my stomach to think that children with Down syndrome and other disabilities are left behind? Yes. Do I think that all orphanages are bad? No. Do I think every child deserves a family no matter what? Yes. You cannot honestly tell me that a child is better off in an orphanage then a family. My daughters have changed so much. I have sent pictures back to your country and even researched to find Phoebe's birth mother. I have received nothing but thanks and love from the people we were in contact with while there. They've seen the change. They have seen what love can do.
Please reconsider the ban. I understand you may never fully agree with the things we do here, just as we may never fully agree with what you do. It is after all, your country and your children. All I can do is beg, plead and beg some more. I was told once by a person in your country that children with special needs do not have a chance at a life outside of the orphanage. I know personally that here, we can give them a life, a family, therapy, medical care, school and love. With all respect sir, many of your children can have a family here, if you just let us try. Below is a picture of the girls before and after. Not as a disrespect, but as a reference to my above words.
Respectfully,
Lisa
