I would be lying if I said that this wait is ok because I know God has this...I mean I know he does, and I trust him with every bit of my being, but my earthly body is impatient. It has been almost seven months since we sent our first dossier packet to Yana's country and we still have no date. Our homestudy agency license expired in February. It took a month to get the updated homestudy agency license. We had it overnighted and then the very same day we got it, we had it apostilled and fedexed to her country. That was the 18th of March.
It gets to a point sometimes where you go through almost a grieving process. I find myself sad, crying, angry, then happy and excited. Then the days pass and I go through it all over again. Never mind the worry of the 10k we still need to be fully funded. If I didn't have God, my family and my fellow adoptive friends/supporters I wouldn't know what to do. She may be in a different country and I may have not even met her yet, but I don't love her any less. This little girl has found her way into my heart. She is such a part of me. I feel like my daughter is, like I said before, in the bottom of a well yelling for me and I can't reach her. I am trying so hard to reach her hand grasping out at me...but I just.can't.get.to.her.
There is a children's book called, I Promise I'll Find You by Heather Patricia Ward. In this book a mother's child has been lost and she goes through different ways/things she will do to find her child. I love this book and it explains in a simple way what lengths a person would go to find thier lost child. I know it has been long, but I won't give up. Yana, I promise I'll find you.... I will never give up no matter how long it takes. Baby girl, I love you!!
Pray for him and his adoptive family-they were denied in court because he has Down syndrome. The judge told them that he was better off in an institution then with a family. That Kirill was "socially unadaptable" because of his "medical condition." I know God is watching and taking care of him. Please pray, advocate, contact media and tell everyone you know. Kirill needs us to FIGHT!!!!!!!
"“With a large army he will stir up his strength and courage against the king of the South. The king of the South will wage war with a large and very powerful army, but he will not be able to stand because of the plots devised against him."
(Please turn off music at the bottom so you can hear Carmen's song...)
Three years ago on March 22, a beautiful little girl was born. She was born to a birth mother who loved her very much and a birth family that loved her dearly. We were lucky enough to be chosen to be her forever family through adoption. Carmen came early, about a month. I couldn't find a flight because it was Easter holiday and they were booked. How do I get to her? My only option. Greyhound. I was supposed to go to Kansas where she was born, but Carmen had an unbalanced AV canal which basically gave her HLHS. She had to be sent to Children's Mercy in KC, MO. So, I got off the bus in KC, MO, and got in a cab. I went directly to the hospital where I walked into the room by myself. I can remember seeing her the first time. She was so tiny. So beautiful. So perfect. I can remember the first time I held her in my arms. I can remember her like it was yesterday and I can remember when they told me how bad her heart really was. So many things happened in the five weeks I spent in KC, MO. I met a bunch of wonderful people-Carmen's birth mother, the nurses and staff at Children's Mercy, the wonderful people at the Ronald McDonald House at Longfellow, and the wonderful people at The Down syndrome Guild in KC, MO. After her open heart surgery at one week and two days of age, she fought day after day. I can remember her chest being open for over two weeks. I can remember her swelling and struggling. I can remember her fighting for her life. I can remember how much I loved her and that I just couldn't give up on her. I can remember her beautiful face and her sweet little hands. I can remember wishing my family could have been there to enjoy her. I can remember in my heart believing she would come home to us, but in my mind being scared. I can remember leaving her to come home for my oldest's confirmation. I can remember the hospital calling me in the middle of the night to tell me her heart had stopped and they were doing CPR. I can remember them calling me and telling me that she was gone. I can remember feeling like I had deserted her. I can remember the ache. I can remember the pain, but most of all, I can remember her. I can remember how extremely thankful I was and still am that I was chosen by her birth mother and by GOD to be her Mom. There is not one day EVER that I wish I never had been through it. I loved that little angel with every bit of my heart. Little Carmen taught me so much and taught everyone around her about love and acceptance, about strength and endurance and how love can be perfect in what some may view as an imperfect child. God bless you little angel. HAPPY BIRTHDAY-I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!!
If Tears Could Build A Stairway
Author: Unknown
If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane. I would walk right up to Heaven and bring you back again.
No farewell words were spoken, No time to say "Goodbye". You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why.
My heart still aches with sadness, and secret tears still flow. What it meant to love you - No one can ever know.
But now I know you want me to mourn for you no more; To remember all the happy times life still has much in store.
Since you'll never be forgotten, I pledge to you today~ A hollowed place within my heart is where you'll always stay.
Please help Lera get home to her Mommy!! They are in desperate need of funds to see her or they may lose her. Let's pray together and help them by donating for Lera by entering this giveaway.
This will take you to Brooke's blog for the actual link to shop. They have some really cute stuff and if you spend 31 dollars you get discounts. Thanks for your continued support.
Oh and BTW-while you are visiting Brooke's blog, feel free to send prayers and words of love her way. Brooke wants to adopt someday and she would make a GREAT Mommy to a child.
This billboard of my sons Anthony and Ethan sums it all up. Our future looks brighter together. It really is true. When we support each other and stand strong, anything is possible. A year ago we started this journey with nothing more then what we had in our pockets. With a lot of hard work, fundraising on our parts and our friends/family/church, and endless prayers-we are almost there. With our FSP and our grant from GOA, we are at the 19k mark. That is only 11k away from our goal. We have came so far in this year. Without all of your support and God's protection, we would have never made it this far. Please continue to pray for Yana and the completion of our adoption of her, that she is safe, and that the funds we need arrive in God's perfect timing.
BTW-AS SOON AS OUR HS AGENCY LICENSE RENEWAL GETS HERE, WE WILL SEND IT TO YANA'S COUNTRY AND WE SHOULD HAVE A DATE FOR OUR FIRST TRIP!!
