Waiting Is So Hard

If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to your
mountain, "MOVE!" and it WILL move... and NOTHING will be
impossible for YOU!
- Matthew 17:20

I never in a million years would have imagined that going on five months after we submitted our dossier for Yana that we still would not have a date for our first trip. I don't know why. I can't give you answers. I just know that everyday I check my email and nothing...nothing. I swear you could hear the crickets chirping. When we committed to her I knew that it was going to be hard. At first they couldn't find a agency to facilitate her adoption. Her region is quite difficult and only allows for 35 referrals per agency per year. Most of the agencies get full with typical children, not allowing for many special needs adoptions. Then we found an agency. They couldn't decide at first if we should do independent or agency. We had to end up doing agency. There is a agency partner. We sent our dossier to them in September. We sent our translation representation fees then too. The Holidays were over in the middle of January. Still nothing. I know that this isn't the typical international adoption, for the most part they fly a lot smoother, so I don't want anyone considering adoption to be bummed.

At this point, things are going to start expiring. I just pray to God we at least get to see her before they do. I have had to fundraise and tuck money away to be able to get all this paperwork done. To think about doing it all over again doesn't bother me, but finding the money to pay for it all over again does. Don't get me wrong, she is worth all the money in the world. If I have to do it, I will find a way for our little girl to get home to us. Sometimes I wonder if something I did in my past is coming back to bite me in the butt. You know how karma is....

I just wanted to update all of you, although there really isn't much to update. For all of those people that think that people who adopt internationally are just doing it because it is easier then domestic, well let me say-YOU'RE WRONG! Adopting internationally is not easy. It is a labor of love. You have to fight just as hard as any other adoption. You can't see your child. You can't hold your child and often you don't know much about them. Would I do it all over again? For Yana, you bet your sweet behind I would. She will be home with us some day soon I hope. Please continue to pray for our Yana, our family, and the funds to be there as needed. God has been steadfast in all of this. My support from my friends, my family and my Reece's Rainbow family has been my backbone. Thank you all for everything....

Much Love, Lisa

I Want To Believe They Loved Her

It was three years ago. A very cold day. Not much different then today. The days in January are very cold. Sometimes it's so cold that it feels like the air is freezing as it comes out of your mouth. There is snow everywhere. The blanket of snow looks as if it so pure. It is truly beautiful.

Elizaveta and Matvey were excited. Although it was so cold and the economy was tough, they were waiting on the birth of thier child. Having another child was a happy moment for them. It was hard making it sometimes, but the love they had for thier children far outweighed that. If anything, the constant fight made them stronger as a family.

"What do you think she will look like?" Elizaveta asked.


"She will be beautiful Veta. She will be strong and graceful. Full of vigor like her mother." Stated Matvey.


Elizaveta hugged her husband. She knew that this little girl was going to be a fighter. She knew this little girl was going to be a beautiful angel. Elizaveta so loved her family. This child was going to be no different. Having another child was something they had wanted to do for awhile. This baby was a gift. They were already proud of her. Elizaveta hugged Matvey even tighter.

It was in the middle of the night. Elizaveta woke up. She knew it was time. The baby was coming.

"Matvey, Matvey, wake up. She's coming." cried Elizaveta.

Matvey didn't even take a second to think. He jumped up out of bed. He woke up his mother and told her they were leaving, so she could watch the kids. The children were in bed. Matvey didn't wake them. Afterall, they needed thier sleep to help with the baby. They would want to be with her the next day. They needed thier rest. Matvey and Elizaveta walked out the door and found a cab.

"To the hospital." Matvey called out to the cab driver. "My wife is having our baby."


It was several hours into the labor and Elizaveta was tired.

"Matvey. Have I told you lately how much I love you?"


"Yes you have Veta. I know you do, and our baby...she will know how much we both love her."

By the next morning Yana was born. As Elizaveta and Matvey held thier daughter tears rolled down thier faces. She was so beautiful. Her eyes were so blue. She had this thick layer of brown hair on top of her head. There was something different about her. Her eyes were almond shaped and her toes, they had this gap between them. Matvey thought that Yana must have taken after his father that he never knew. This was common, especially in this time. You were lucky to even have one parent. As the day went on the weather became to harsh. The children would have to wait until the next day to see thier sister. It was getting late. Elizaveta was tired. She closed her eyes and went to sleep. Matvey was in the chair next to her asleep, holding baby Yana.

The next morning the doctor came into the room.


" I have some serious news for you. Your daughter has Down syndrome. We have made arrangements for you to place her into custody of the local baby house. You know that children like THIS do not have a place in society here."

With that, he closed the door behind him.

"What did he just say Matvey?" Elizaveta asked as tears were rolling down her face.

"She's not ours anymore Veta. She belongs to them." cried Matvey. "We will not be able to take her home. Veta, you know we have no choice."

Within moments the nurse came into the room. They signed some type of documents and she was now to live in the orphanage. They were letting her go. Never to see her again. Elizaveta's heart was broke, but she knew it had to be this way. That is what they all said. It just didn't seem right to her. Her daughter, her beautiful Yana, was never to be held by her again. How could she go see her there and leave her behind? She couldn't. This would be the last time she saw her. It had to be that way.

Matvey was already outside of the hospital. He couldn't look at the baby. It was to tough. There was nothing he could do he believed. It was better to not see her or touch her again. Elizaveta stayed behind to see Yana one more time. She gently leaned over her crib. Touched her smooth, warm skin. She looked at her as a tear fell onto Yana's chest.

"I love you baby Yana." Elizaveta cried with a choking sound. "You will always be here in my heart. I will always love you."

Elizaveta walked out the door of the hospital holding onto her heart. She was leaving her daughter behind. She knew the pain she was feeling would never go away. Elizaveta would never hold her again. To her this was the end. She knew she would never see Yana again....

She turned around and looked at the door of the hospital, then she quickly walked to Matvey. Her life, thier life, would never be the same.

Why It Is So Important

Why is it so important?

I really wish I could put it into words so you could understand.

I am not as talented of a writer as some of my friends. Wish I was. I think there was a time in school where I could write stories and poems, but that was before college ate my brain. Seriously, all those notes and studying melted it, and NO it didn't involve any illegal subtance. All those hours of studying did me in.

I am a talker. Everyone that knows me probably wishes I wasn't sometimes. All you have to do is ask me about my children and the floodgates open. I am sure it gets old sometimes, but that is what I am most proud of, my babies. I will fight to my dying breath for them. Yes, sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out, but I would die inside without them. I know this because when Carmen died, a part of my heart died, and it will never come back. It is with her.

A few months ago we committed to Yana. I saw her picture and that was enough. We had no idea where she was. She could be in California for all I know, but she wasn't, she happens to be in a VERY COLD part of the world. The weather there is currently in the -30'sF. It is a very long flight away. This little girl who has stolen my heart and is destined to be part of our family is so far away. In miles maybe, but never far from my mind or my heart.

It has not been easy since we started this journey. The region she is from only allows for 35 referrals per year per agency. Most of the agencies are very busy with typical adoptions so they fill up quickly. We struggled to even find an agency. There is only one that can help us. There is only one.... That is fine for one little girl, for one family, for our adoption of our Yana. It is not fine for the 100's of other children with special needs that cannot be listed with Reece's Rainbow until we at least visit our girl or she comes home. It isn't anyones fault. The agency just has to see that our adoption is successful and the region will work with us before the agency will agree to assist with the other adoptions. WOW I really feel heavy in my heart and my shoulders feel so weighted down. I feel like we as a family are carrying the weight of so many lives on our shoulders. I do not feel burdened, I feel compelled...compelled to act.

I am not going to lie to you...

I am being selfish for my family.

I want this little girl more then anything. I want Yana to be part of our family. When I beg for your prayers and donations it is for me and my family. It is for Yana to be with us. It is for Yana to be our child. It is for Yana to be a sibling to my children. I don't only want to save her life, but I want her to be a part of ours. I will admit it. This little girl is on my mind all the time, just like the rest of my children, right where she should be.

There has been some times when people have suggested to me that we choose another child because of the difficulty it has been finding our way to her. I have thought about it, but my heart always brings me back. I cannot let that happen. This wasn't meant to be easy. There is a reason for it. There is a reason her face surrounds me. Not just for her to be a part of our family, I feel like God is leading us to many more children that need us.

If you haven't noticed, the children in Yana's region are no longer listed on Reece's Rainbow. It breaks my heart, but for the reason mentioned above, it had to happen. There is no reason for you to fall in love with a child if you have no chance in getting to them. The thing is though, they still exist. They still are there in the orphanages and institutions. They still wait. They still cry. They still wonder. If they wait long enough, they just exist. They shut off hope. WE cannot let this happen.

Please help us pray for our adoption of Yana. Please help us raise the funds for her adoption. Please help us pray for her safety and the success of her becoming a part of our family. Not only does her life depend on it, so does the many faces I see everytime I check the database.

http://reecesrainbow.org/yana-for-the-smith-family-zanesville-oh

God bless you all!!

The Boy From Baby House 10 Give Away

Autographed by Alan Philips (really no joke!!)

This give away is for an actual autographed copy of "The Boy From Baby House 10" By Alan Philips (you can choose the paperback UK copy or the hardback copy U.S. edition.) I am also including a Snuggie, (it will be for a girl or a guy-whomever wins) a box of tissues because you will cry (trust me), a $25 Starbucks giftcard (to get your coffee fix while you are reading), and a Amazon Kindle 3G Wireless Reading Device with Free 3G + Wi-Fi(3G Works Globally valued at $189.) All of this will help bring Yana home. Chances are $5 each or 5 for $20. All proceeds go directly to Yana's FSP.

February Is A Month Dedicated to Love

February is dedicated to love. Valentine's Day is a time where we shower our special someone with love and gifts. Maybe chocolate or flowers, or if you are lucky, diamonds. For some though, just being loved would be enough. They don't need those things. They simply want someone to call thier own.

During that month, five years ago, a beautiful little girl we know as Kennedy was born.

Kennedy was born to a family. Where Kennedy is from, because of an extra chromosome, they have no place in society. Often parents are urged to place them in a orphanage or leave them at the hospital. Thier only hope is finding a family. Someone to call thier own. Kennedy has spent her life in the one and only place she has known, and recently she was taken away from that place. Kennedy has been transferred. She has been sent to a place that is horrifying, scary and reminiscent of the movies we remember where people are screaming & banging thier heads for stimulation. She doesn't deserve it. She deserves to be the princess she was born to be.

People often ask why from a different country and not here. Truthfully, it is a valid question. I understand it, but truthfully, I could care less where she is from. She could be from here or there or anywhere. What matters to me for my Yana is that I love her, my family has accepted her and she needs us. That is the same way for Kennedy. It doesn't matter where she is from, she needs loved, plain and simple. Look at this verse from the bible,

Religion that God our Father Accepts as pure and faultless is this:
to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
--- James 1:27

I don't see anywhere in that verse that says to make sure they come from your country, because if you fall outside of the lines of your nation you surely will be struck by lightning. Nope, it's not there. I understand that some people are not in the position to adopt, or don't have the money to donate. Prayers are just as good. Kennedy needs them too.

Please help me by spreading the word about Kennedy. Let's pray and hope that she finds her family. Let's help Kennedy to know what February is for. Let's help her to be loved as she deserves and help her forget the loss she has endured. Let's keep her from this.....


Visit Kennedy at http://reecesrainbow.org/kennedy-p7sf

This is what it says about her.

Kennedy

Girl, Born February 2005

2H

Date of Birth: February 2005
Gender: Female
Eyes: Gray
Hair: Dark
Character: sociable

ALREADY TRANSFERRED!

Miss Kennedy is a beautiful girl. She has blonde hair and blue eyes. She has already been transferred to the older child facility, so she needs a family quickly! From her medical records: Down syndrome, significant psychomotor and speech retardation, moderate mental deficiency, congenital heart disease, planovalgus deformity (flat feet), allergic dermatitis (dry cheeks). She will really benefit from having a loving family to encourage her, provide her with the therapies she needs, and help her be all she can be! There is no place for her in her country.

Nothing to share, but my heart is still there....

I was hoping that at this point in time, I would be able to tell you all something. I have nothing to tell any of you, because I know nothing. Zip, zero. Our agency said they would tell us when they hear something of importance. So, we wait and Yana waits. I pray everyday and I check the database often to make sure she is still here on Earth. I hope and pray to God that she is safe and somehow knows that I love her with all my heart. Please continue to pray for Yana's health and safety. Please pray for her and for the funds to continue to come in. Mommy loves you angel!!

Pampered Chef-Buy A Chance For The Chef In Your Family :)

THE WINNER WAS ANN IDEN-CONGRATS!!

Chillzanee Rectangle Veggie Tray

Triffle Bowl

Just a couple samples of what will be in the Pampered Chef Gift Box


This includes a Triffle bowl, Season's Best Cookbook, Pampered Chef Shopping bag, All purpose spreader, Weekday Dinners Done, Can strainer, Citrus Peeler, Mix N Chop, Bamboo spoons small, Mini whipper, Kernal cutter, Mini spatula, Easy opener, 2 Microfiber towels, and a Chillazanee Rectangel Veggie Tray---all valued at $155.00. These items were donated by my sister-in-law Jenni. I will run this until the end of November. This would be a great gift for the Chef in your family.