Why It Is So Important

Why is it so important?

I really wish I could put it into words so you could understand.

I am not as talented of a writer as some of my friends. Wish I was. I think there was a time in school where I could write stories and poems, but that was before college ate my brain. Seriously, all those notes and studying melted it, and NO it didn't involve any illegal subtance. All those hours of studying did me in.

I am a talker. Everyone that knows me probably wishes I wasn't sometimes. All you have to do is ask me about my children and the floodgates open. I am sure it gets old sometimes, but that is what I am most proud of, my babies. I will fight to my dying breath for them. Yes, sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out, but I would die inside without them. I know this because when Carmen died, a part of my heart died, and it will never come back. It is with her.

A few months ago we committed to Yana. I saw her picture and that was enough. We had no idea where she was. She could be in California for all I know, but she wasn't, she happens to be in a VERY COLD part of the world. The weather there is currently in the -30'sF. It is a very long flight away. This little girl who has stolen my heart and is destined to be part of our family is so far away. In miles maybe, but never far from my mind or my heart.

It has not been easy since we started this journey. The region she is from only allows for 35 referrals per year per agency. Most of the agencies are very busy with typical adoptions so they fill up quickly. We struggled to even find an agency. There is only one that can help us. There is only one.... That is fine for one little girl, for one family, for our adoption of our Yana. It is not fine for the 100's of other children with special needs that cannot be listed with Reece's Rainbow until we at least visit our girl or she comes home. It isn't anyones fault. The agency just has to see that our adoption is successful and the region will work with us before the agency will agree to assist with the other adoptions. WOW I really feel heavy in my heart and my shoulders feel so weighted down. I feel like we as a family are carrying the weight of so many lives on our shoulders. I do not feel burdened, I feel compelled...compelled to act.

I am not going to lie to you...

I am being selfish for my family.

I want this little girl more then anything. I want Yana to be part of our family. When I beg for your prayers and donations it is for me and my family. It is for Yana to be with us. It is for Yana to be our child. It is for Yana to be a sibling to my children. I don't only want to save her life, but I want her to be a part of ours. I will admit it. This little girl is on my mind all the time, just like the rest of my children, right where she should be.

There has been some times when people have suggested to me that we choose another child because of the difficulty it has been finding our way to her. I have thought about it, but my heart always brings me back. I cannot let that happen. This wasn't meant to be easy. There is a reason for it. There is a reason her face surrounds me. Not just for her to be a part of our family, I feel like God is leading us to many more children that need us.

If you haven't noticed, the children in Yana's region are no longer listed on Reece's Rainbow. It breaks my heart, but for the reason mentioned above, it had to happen. There is no reason for you to fall in love with a child if you have no chance in getting to them. The thing is though, they still exist. They still are there in the orphanages and institutions. They still wait. They still cry. They still wonder. If they wait long enough, they just exist. They shut off hope. WE cannot let this happen.

Please help us pray for our adoption of Yana. Please help us raise the funds for her adoption. Please help us pray for her safety and the success of her becoming a part of our family. Not only does her life depend on it, so does the many faces I see everytime I check the database.

http://reecesrainbow.org/yana-for-the-smith-family-zanesville-oh

God bless you all!!