Proving Myself

For my entire life I have been trying to prove myself. Trying to prove that I am good enough for people, for school, for college, for a job, to my family. You get the picture. We all do this in our lives when ever we apply for a job, school, a loan and we do it when we try to make friends and make our families proud. We really don't HAVE to when the only person we have to please is already proud of us, but we do. Over and over again. The same thing with adoption. We are trying to prove ourselves to families, agencies and countries...just hoping they will like us enough to let us be the parents of our children of the heart.

It has been looking pretty good with this adoption, this time around. I know there has been snafu's with fundraising, but as a whole, this adoption is going much better then Yana's. We sent our dossier and they attempted to submit it on Friday...then they refused to register it. Really? Yeah, they did. They think it is strange that my husband stays home instead of me. If I could, it would be me staying home, but for my family it was better that I worked. I had the insurance and my wages were higher, so we decided it would be me that worked. They think it is odd that we want girls when a man is the primary caregiver. So, would it be ok if we wanted boys? Sorry, I have four, it's time for a little more estrogen in this house.

They spoke with who they need to speak with and now we have more paperwork to do. Which is the reason we are not going to get to travel in August to see them. It just breaks my heart. I guess in the long run it is better now then later. We have to prepare an application specifically requesting the two girls. We have to do this because we were approved up to age 11. There are more documents we need because the homestudy was an update. I need to get recommendation letters from several different official organizations stating they think we are able to handle two more Ds children. Here we go again proving ourselves. They say we will probably have to get a full psych eval too.

With all that said, it is not a no, so we will get this paperwork done. They are now more likely to approve us for two they think which is good. We do have a wonderful agency and team fighting for us and our girls. I believe God will see this through....

So I ask you to pray for us and the girls. I ask you to pray that they will see that we are not perfect, but people that will love these girls beyond measure. I ask you to pray for fundraising/financial help. Even if we could do Both Hands, I am not sure I have it in me to put it all together. I ask that you pray for us and our family to hold strong. Our basement flooded again. It is wearing us all thin. It has happened over four times since the adoption process started. I know God has our back, because we wouldn't be faced with all these obstacles if we weren't trying to do the right thing. I mean seriously, we have been attacked at all angles since this started. I do believe that when you tread on the evil ones stronghold, you face these things. I know with God, my friends and my RR family...we will get through it. I love you all beyond measure.

American Girl Giveaway

The giveaway has ended. I will post the winner in the next few days. I have picked up extra time at work and haven't had a lot of free time. Thanks everyone for everything!!

We will have our own new American Girl, so we thought it would be a neat giveaway to give you a chance at winning your own American Girl. Instead of it being just a chance at the doll, we are going to do a tiered giveaway. The more money we raise the bigger the American Girl package you will win. These are just samples below-you will get to choose your own doll.


This is the package you will win. Valued at $119 which includes doll, book and accessory package.


If we reach $2,000 we will upgrade the prize to the $179 package which is the starter collection. If the doll you choose does not have the starter package you will get your doll and anything up to $179.


If we reach $5,000 we will upgrade to the best friends package valued at $234. If your doll does not have a best friend then you will receive your doll and accessories up to $234.


If by the grace of God we get $10,000 or more you will get a world collection valued at $439. If your doll does not have this collection, we will give you a package at $439.

Sound like a deal? It's all up to you. The more we raise the bigger the prize! Chances are $5.00 each. Just use the chip in below. Good luck. We will run this until after we are home from our first trip (tentative date is August 13-19th.) Of course we won't be home until probably two days later-the 21st?




-$5 WILL BUY YOU FIVE CHANCES AT THESE ITEMS BELOW-Please specify you are donating for these items-



Grandma Bonnie Longaberger Pie Plate, Tupperware bowl, Pampered Chef measuring cup, PC cloth, PC orange peeler, 31 party make up bag and handle and a set of hand stamped tiles. Donated by Beverly Blair, Angela Riddick,one of thier friends and my coworker Amanda Wood.




Brand new Vera Bradley purse with wallet. New with TAGS. Donated by my sister Mary Kihm.

Some News

Just wanted to let you know that we may have a travel date really soon. Our dossier is in the hands of our agency here and should arrive in the girls region soon. What is going to be hard is knowing that meeting +1 and falling in love with her, but not knowing if the court will allow for two. So, once again I ask for prayers for our Phoebe +1, prayers for peace and that the judge will allow us to have both girls (if not we can find her a home really quick,) prayers for finanacial help and prayers for our children we will be leaving behind. Thanks everyone!!

Moving on...but not forgetting.

Baby Phoebe <3

When an adoption doesn't go the way you planned, you can stop and die inside or you can move on. We have chosen to move on to adopt Phoebe +1, and we really are in love with her. She is a beautiful little girl. She will be perfect. In the joy of finding her and moving forward, my heart still aches for Yana. I found this updated pic of her and I am thankful she is still alive. Please pray for her and her region, that someday it isn't so difficult. If it isn't me, let it be someone else to save her. I want nothing more then for this sweet baby to know the love of a family. Yana will be four in January. Please God, move mountains for her.


Beautiful Yana <3

Puzzle Pieces For Our Girls

This puzzle has been hanging around for awhile. We started this fundraiser a few months after we committed to Yana. We have sold a total of 115 pieces. We planned on running it until she comes home, sadly she isn't (at least not right now.) I thought about just stopping it, but the show must go on. We need to sell 435 more pieces at $5 each. That would make us an additional $2175 for our adoption of Phoebe +1. For every $5 donated you will get your name on the back of a puzzle piece. The winner will be drawn when all puzzle pieces are sold or when Phoebe +1 comes home. Your name will be highlighted. The puzzle will be put together by our family. It will then be framed with the wood of your choice with glass on the back and front (by Bryan's Framing here in Zanesville, OH.) That way you will see what piece you played in Phoebe +1's future. God bless and thank you so much for all of your support! Let's get selling-only 435 pieces to go!! All donations are tax deductible.

The Truth

I cannot tell you how many times I have been told that we were saints. When people find out that we have adopted two boys with Down syndrome and one with Autism, we get that all the time. Then when I tell them about our Carmen that died after open heart surgery and the fact that we are in the middle of an international adoption-we get that even more. Really? I am so far from a saint that it's not funny. I am not perfect and by no means deserve that. What people don't realize is the truth.

The truth is that I need my kids as much as they need me. This world can be pretty harsh sometimes and life can be difficult. Unless everything in your life happens perfectly and with ease, life can have some harsh turns. I love all of my children with all my heart. Adopting children with special needs is not always a bed of roses, but the good far outweighs the bad. They love me no matter how I look. They don't judge me if I make a stupid mistake. Even if they can't tell me that they love me (Anthony is basically non verbal) I know it by the extreme hugs they give. Even when I don't want to be touched, Anthony and Ethan climb up beside me and touch my hair, give kisses and the most wonderful hugs. When you are at your absolute worst, they know it and know what to do. When I come home from work it's always, "Hi Mom!" Jonathan always says, "How were you today?" No matter what, they always care. No matter what, they are just happy being with you.

I have been told before that they are taking away my free time. That I don't have the opportunities to drop things and go when I want. Well, let me tell you that I don't want a life without them. I need them in my life as much as they need me. They lift me up when I am down and add so much more to my life. They have brought me to a place where I actually feel like I belong. Growing up I was never really popular, wasn't the smartest person in the class, wasn't athletic and I wasn't really pretty. I now belong to a family of friends that accepts me for who I am and not what they want me to be. My Ds family is such a reward for me. I love all of them. I thank God everyday for my children, birth and adopted. God has truly blessed my life with them. We may not be the richest people in the world or have the biggest house, but I can tell you that I would rather have my life now then not have them in it. I cannot imagine what it would be like without them.

Phoebe's First Give Away

jendmoyers@gmail.com won 1st,2nd, & 6th prize
trulymme@aol.com won 3rd, 4th, 5th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 12th and 13th prize
jfaithjobes@yahoo.com won the 11th prize


This quilt was originally donated by Hope Anne Dueck. It was made by her family from all over the United States and Mexico, piece by piece. It was then quilted together in hopes to raise funds for a international adoption. We had a give away for it last year, Jill Spicer won it and graciously donated it to Yana. When our adoption fell through I asked her if she wanted it and she said to keep it and use it as we see fit.


Our second item is a wonderful book donated to me by Alan Philips. We had a "The Boy From Baby House 10" give away. He gave me two books. This book was for me to keep. It is the UK version-paperback edition-with forward from Russian Model Natalia Vodianova. IT ALSO HAS ALAN'S REAL AUTOGRAPH!! This book means a great deal to me. I adore Alan. The thing is, sometimes we have to let things go that mean a lot to us. Phoebe +1 is worth it.

Third through sixth item is a set of coasters (4 in each set) made by my friend Amanda Wood. These were also made for Yana's adoption. They are hand stamped and say something different on each tile (wish, grateful, always, and joy.) The coasters are made out of shower tile with felt pads on the bottom. They are heavy. Each one is hand stamped and fired...so they all are unique.


The seventh item is a $10 Itunes gift card. This was donated by my niece Beth Beattey. She was so excited about Yana. It broke her heart when she found out Yana couldn't come home...

The eigth item is a knotted blanket donated again by my niece Beth. She made it herself. She made it for chairity, but donated it to Yana to raise money. It is a larger fleece blanket. Peace signs on the front-neon green on the back.

The ninth item is a matryoshka doll donated by the wonderful Jensen family who is RIGHT NOW in country getting ready to bring thier son home!!!


Then tenth item is two packs of cloth wipes made by Malia Kalua Allen at www.bumbledoo.com


The eleventh item will be a handcrafted item from Jen. Here is a picture of her swaddling blanket she makes. She will let me know for sure what the item is. (It will probably be either a quilt top blanket or a swaddling blanket.)


The 12th item is a $25 Children's Place Gift Card donated by Brenda Hugen


The 13th item is a $25 Old Navy/Banana Republic Gift Card donated by Brenda Hugen




If I find anything else, I will be adding them. If you wish to donate something for the give away, email me or post a comment on here with your email address so I can contact you. I have it set up for two weeks. All of these things are new, never used. They were for Yana's adoption, and although Yana will always be in my heart, I have to see what is in front of me right now (Yana is in my heart so please don't think I have forgotten about her.) Right now we need $1,100 for agency fees (we already paid $1,500) we also have to redo all the documents for our dossier and to bring both girls home we need around $17,000. I am going to set up this give away to my email address to help with the $1,100 to our agency. I could do this with overtime, but truthfully I want to get them the $ asap. Our agency would like for us to bring them home before our visas expire in September. If we make over the $1,100 I will then switch the email address to Reece's Rainbow so all donations after that would be tax deductible.