Proving Myself

For my entire life I have been trying to prove myself. Trying to prove that I am good enough for people, for school, for college, for a job, to my family. You get the picture. We all do this in our lives when ever we apply for a job, school, a loan and we do it when we try to make friends and make our families proud. We really don't HAVE to when the only person we have to please is already proud of us, but we do. Over and over again. The same thing with adoption. We are trying to prove ourselves to families, agencies and countries...just hoping they will like us enough to let us be the parents of our children of the heart.

It has been looking pretty good with this adoption, this time around. I know there has been snafu's with fundraising, but as a whole, this adoption is going much better then Yana's. We sent our dossier and they attempted to submit it on Friday...then they refused to register it. Really? Yeah, they did. They think it is strange that my husband stays home instead of me. If I could, it would be me staying home, but for my family it was better that I worked. I had the insurance and my wages were higher, so we decided it would be me that worked. They think it is odd that we want girls when a man is the primary caregiver. So, would it be ok if we wanted boys? Sorry, I have four, it's time for a little more estrogen in this house.

They spoke with who they need to speak with and now we have more paperwork to do. Which is the reason we are not going to get to travel in August to see them. It just breaks my heart. I guess in the long run it is better now then later. We have to prepare an application specifically requesting the two girls. We have to do this because we were approved up to age 11. There are more documents we need because the homestudy was an update. I need to get recommendation letters from several different official organizations stating they think we are able to handle two more Ds children. Here we go again proving ourselves. They say we will probably have to get a full psych eval too.

With all that said, it is not a no, so we will get this paperwork done. They are now more likely to approve us for two they think which is good. We do have a wonderful agency and team fighting for us and our girls. I believe God will see this through....

So I ask you to pray for us and the girls. I ask you to pray that they will see that we are not perfect, but people that will love these girls beyond measure. I ask you to pray for fundraising/financial help. Even if we could do Both Hands, I am not sure I have it in me to put it all together. I ask that you pray for us and our family to hold strong. Our basement flooded again. It is wearing us all thin. It has happened over four times since the adoption process started. I know God has our back, because we wouldn't be faced with all these obstacles if we weren't trying to do the right thing. I mean seriously, we have been attacked at all angles since this started. I do believe that when you tread on the evil ones stronghold, you face these things. I know with God, my friends and my RR family...we will get through it. I love you all beyond measure.