Our Road

In 2003 we went to a foster parent conference, and there we met Robin Steele from the DSAGC. Little did we know that on that day, our lives would be changed. Although I already had an Aunt with Down syndrome it had not even crossed my mind about adopting a child with Down syndrome. Not that I wouldn't, but I guess I didn't know that programs existed. We were already home study approved and were thinking about adoption. After we met her and her children...took her class about Down syndrome...I looked at my husband and told him I thought this was something we could do. We filled out the application and then about four months later A came to live with us.

A was in foster care. His birth mother had given birth to him in the hospital and left him there. She was mentally ill and unable to care for him. There were things in our minds that we didn't think we could handle. If they had told us the things little A had endured while she was pregnant, we probably would have said no. They placed A into my arms. My husband and I looked at him and we knew he was ours. Then they told us all the stuff he had been through...no prenatal care...abuse during pregnancy...open heart at three months...coding after birth...sleep apnea...g tube...tube feeding...breathing treatments...severe cardiac defect...it all sounded daunting. Looking into those beautiful blue eyes made those things seem less of a burden and more of a challenge. Something we could learn and overcome with him. Not that it was something we had to overcome, but something we had to fight along side of him with. This boy needed us. He needed parents. We were it.

Now, the last nine years have not been a piece of cake. There have been some rough times. A lot of sleepless nights. A lot of surgeries. A lot of therapies. A lot of chasing after him when he runs from you in a crowded place. A lot of fights with people that have no clue what they are talking about. A lot of ignorance. Did I say A LOT OF IGNORANCE??? A lot of diapers. A lot of meds. A lot of fighting for him. With all that and more, there were also very good times. There are still very good times. You see, when we adopted him we made him a part of our family. For us, there was no giving up. A is my boy. He will always be my baby. If anyone knows me, they know that. He loves his Dad. He loves his sisters and his brothers. He is just as much a part of me as my birth children. We are realistic and know that his behaviors and issues will be a life long process for him. He will never get rid of them, but we will stand beside him every single day and help him fight. We will help him make his life the best it can be. We will help A have a great quality of life. He will get everything he needs. A has many people that love him. He has his family and his school. His teachers at Starlight and his therapists who fight for him and what he needs. We love A. I couldn't imagine my life without him.

In 2005 we were chosen to be parents of E. I had talked to his birth mother several times through email and was to be in Massachusetts for his birth. This was a wonderful experience. She loved him very much. She still does. We keep in touch so she can see him grow. When E was born he had a severe cardiac defect. A few hours after his birth his oxygen sats dropped and he started turning blue. After they stabilized him he was taken to UMASS Memorial where he spent eleven days. We spent the rest of four weeks at a local hotel until ICPC could be done. At six months E had open heart surgery. Poor kiddo hadn't gained any weight for three months because of his heart. Then at almost two years of age E coded on my husbands lap in the ER. He was life flighted to NWCH and spent four weeks there. E had his second open heart surgery where he had a pacemaker and defibrillator placed. E has been through a lot, but even though we worry every single day about his heart...we wouldn't trade any day he is with us. Other then his heart, E has no other serious medical conditions. E runs, jumps and plays like any other child. He is in school and is learning. E can count, says his ABC's, sings like there is no tomorrow and can recite the pledge. We know that as E grows, he has many more surgeries in his future. E carries so much love with him. Anyone that knows him loves him. It's hard not to.

If you have been to our blog before, you have read about our Carmen. I miss that little girl so much. Losing your daughter is hard. She never got to see the sun or the moon. Now, Carmen dances with the angels. No tubes, no scars...a perfect little heart.




Then there are our two little girls. We love them very much. We know our road has just started with them, but we feel the road we have been on has helped prepare us for this. It has brought to us the tools we need to give our girls the life they deserve. Once again, we know this road may have bumps, but we are ready. The appointments and therapies are beginning. Just to let everyone know, Phoebe's labs have came back normal for her thyroid. We are not sure why they were abnormal the first time. She is playing and interacting with her brothers. Miss Phoebe is a very present personality. She lets everyone know she is there :) Bella is growing leaps and bounds. She is a quiet girl, but is learning her voice. Bella is wrapping people around her tiny little finger. Yes, she still has her sassy looks :)





For anyone that wonders, these girls are not going anywhere. There are no plans or even fleeting thoughts that they will go anywhere. They are a part of our family. For good times and bad, they are our daughters. We brought them into our family. They are here forever.