Dreams....

I am not quite sure what we dream sometimes and why. I know that some dreams are vivid and some are not. The reason for some dreams are apparent and well, some are just plain wierd. After Carmen's struggles with surgery and her death, I had some really vivid ones. Specifically, she was laying in her isolette with her pink OSU outfit on. I can remember holding her and touching her little hands. I was asking everyone why they told me she was dead and why they sent me someone elses baby to bury. It was her telling me she is ok. She is safe and happy, fully restored, perfect as she always was. Sadness, but comfort came with that dream. My Carmen is fine. Her worldy body gone, and her spirit is perfect like she is. She is with God.

I have often said that I am totally not opposed to believing there are spirits that mingle with us on a daily basis. I am also very aware and I often speak it, that my worldly body cannot handle seeing these things, so please visit me in my dreams to give me whatever message you need to. If not, what happens when you visit me here will do you nothing, because I would be dead from a stroke. My sister died when she was 16. Tina had CP. She had severe curvature of her spine and had a metal bar placed-six months later she died from complications of pneumonia. I so miss her to this day. When I worked at a nursing home, there was this specific patient that had some form of Leukemia. She told me one day that she was going to hell. Just the thought makes me shutter. I told her as long as she was sorry for whatever she thought she had done, and she tells God that she is sorry, she would be fine. I told her that God loves her and he would forgive her. When I was off, she died. A few days later I had a dream and she was sitting on her bed-perfectly fine. She told me that she wanted me to know that she was ok. I asked her if it was possible to see my sister (this was about 15 years after Tina's death.) In walks my sister-the same age as when she died. She could walk, talk, and she was in my favorite clothes-jeans and a sweatshirt. She jumped on me, gave me the biggest hug, and I woke up. My patient gave me a gift. It was such a relief.

This morning I am not quite sure what this dream I had means. I can speculate or ponder it, but I am sure that it is God. I know he wants me to do what I can to get Yana and advocate for others. In my dream I received this suitcase and I opened it. There were at least four or more children in it. They were alive. These children were faces that I knew from Reece's Rainbow, but for some reason I cannot place them. The only child I could place was AJ (who already has a family-thank God.) Anyways, the first child I found was a girl, not DS, but more like CP. I took her out and I fed her and hugged her. I told her she was going to be safe. I put my arms around her and then put her down on a bed to rest. She cried and begged me to not let her go. I looked down into the suitcase and there was this skinny boy, may or may not have had DS and I was furious. In dreams you can pretty much just flip to somewhere, so I found myself next to someone in inspection. I asked this woman how can she let this happen. How can someone do this to these babies. I was horrified. Then, I took her to the suitcase and showed her these children. There was a picture laying on the floor, and for some reason, I tried to pick A.J. up from the picture and I could not get him. I guess, because he has already found his family. The other children remained in the suitcase and I started taking them all out to safety. Then Ethan was yelling Mom...and I woke up.

I am not quite sure why I have these really wierd, but vivid dreams. I cannot shut my brain off at anytime. In the midst of the daily routine- soccer games, football games, school, diaper changes, supper, down time-my mind is always full of thoughts of Yana and all the Reece's Rainbow children still needing families. We have to do something. If someone is not in the position to donate-PLEASE PRAY! Olga has gone to Heaven...we did not get there in time for her...God called her home. She is now safe, but this should not be happening. It shouldn't happen there or here. No child should die without the love of a family.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, `Give them up!' and to the south, `Do not hold them back.'
Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth--
--- Isaiah 43: 5-6